Closeted gay guy

It reminds LGBTQ people of their own dark days of being closeted. One commenter on social media wrote, “Some LGBTQ folks have forgotten what it is was like being closeted and all they remember is the huge weight that living authentically releases.” I am surprised by the amount of LGBTQs who are aggressively trying to pressure me to come out of my perceived closet.

But please don’t expect this, or judge us if we don’t want to change the agreement on which we thought the marriage was based.

We may even get triggered by things as simple as a rainbow icon for a while. In reality, as a sex therapist and educator, I was sharing one of the many things I’ve learned over my many years as a therapist, something that has been researched by well-established scholars on male sexual fluidity. I remember in the ’90s when the LGBTQ community knew that Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O’Donnell, and Sean Hayes (Jack from the NBC sitcom Will and Grace) were lesbian and gay but wouldn’t come out publicly and say so.

It may not be a pretty process. It's crucial to recognize that an individual's decision to remain closeted is not a reflection of their commitment to the relationship but rather their personal journey and the challenges they face.

Effective communication is paramount in navigating this dynamic. While being out to family might be a dream for many, it may be dangerous emotionally, mentally or physically to others.

When I hear someone say to me on my social media, “Bruh.

Shift in culture

Something has shifted in the culture so that not admitting to being LGBTQ rather than being LGBTQ became a bigger reason for harassment and scorn.

We could use a lot more compassion and a lot less snark in our cyber world—and in the entire world—today.

A University at Buffalo graduate, Kelly came to Fort Lauderdale from Manhattan in 2022. There were great risks for them—especially back in the ’90s and before when if you were out you could lose your entire career and livelihood. They are contributing to the homophobia by shunning a person who is dealing with their sexuality in their own time and deserves the space to do so.

But these public gestures can feel impossible, and even downright harmful, for someone who has not yet shared their sexual orientation or gender identity with others.

That doesn’t mean that your S.O. doesn’t love you or that they’re not proud of you. It may also be helpful to join an LGBTQ support group that can offer a sense of community, providing both partners with insights and understanding from others who have faced similar challenges.

It is common to feel rejected when you want to show your relationship to the world and your partner doesn't but coming out is a deeply personal and individualistic process so it is important to communicate your feelings to your partner without expectation that they will out themselves to their family or friends for you for the sake of the relationship.

Queerly Beloved is an expertly curated column dedicated to the world of LGBTQ sex, intimacy and relationships that provides education, insights and actionable tips for the reader to enhance their pleasure journey.

• If you’re the straight spouse (or a partner of a trans person) and want some support or further information, please reach out for support.
• If you’re the closeted LGBT partner and need some help coming out to your partner, you’re welcome to get in touch, although you may find an LGBTQIA+ service more helpful.

  In her free time, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called Bad In Bed. Follow her on Instagram @Gabriellekassel.