Roasts for gay people

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I want you on the other side of it.

You’re not stupid! Keep it general and witty.

One-Liner vs. Try again, never.”

It says you’re ignoring what the person has to say because you don’t entertain foolishness. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.

You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about.

Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud?

I’ve been called worse by better.

If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

Your only purpose in life is to become an organ donor.

Grab a straw, because you suck.

When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life?

It is good to say this when one out of the group of people steps out of line in front of others.

30“I think you’re trying to be funny, but if I had no brains like you, I wouldn’t have noticed. You should spend some time learning about LGBTQ+ acceptance so you don’t make this mistake again.”

It says that people should educate themselves on proper etiquette regarding the gay community, and how certain stereotypes can be damaging or hurtful.

26“Assuming someone’s sexual orientation is never okay, so unless you’re interested in having a relationship, you don’t need to worry about it.”

It says that sexuality is private and personal, and that the person is better off minding their own business.

Are you looking for your brain?

If you’re going to act like a turd, go lay in the yard.

Do your parents even realize they’re living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?
You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You haven’t changed since last time I saw you. Before you know it, you’re stuck in an awkward or uncomfortable moment with no idea of what to say.
The way we see it, there are only two correct responses (and no, it doesn’t involve a slap across the face):
Option 1: Change the subject or distract everyone from the awkward moment.

Just give me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.
The smartest thing that ever came out of your mouth was a penis.
Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice.
Too bad you can’t count jumping to conclusions and running your mouth as exercise.
I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
I love what you’ve done with your hair.

This is for the non-confrontational readers who just want to move on without making a scene or who refuse to feed into the nonsense.
Option 2: A witty response to let the person know that was wrong (or stupid). It’s not like you can tell someone is gay by looking at them.”

If the person isn’t being intentionally disrespectful, this comment will force him/her to really think about what was said, and why it was wrong.

21“Gay people and other members of the LGBTQ+ have different personalities and appearances.

Share them with your friends:
Najděte si ubytování na vaši dovolenou.

In the past 20 years or so, things have changed a lot for the LGBTQ community. It also clears up misconceptions and opens the person’s mind about the realities of being a part of the LGBTQ+ community.

25“There’s a word for that: discrimination.

Worry about your eyebrows.
Don’t you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?
Let me tell you.
Like my dog. This is what to say when someone calls you gay instead of your actual name:

27“Wait, so my mom’s been calling me [insert your name] for no reason?”

This is a lighthearted response you can use when someone is trying to insult you, but you aren’t affected.

28“Yeah, what about it?”

This is very confrontational, so be prepared for however the person may respond.

But I’ll keep trying.
We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we’ve been married for 10 years.
I only take you everywhere I go just so I don’t have to kiss you goodbye.
My hair straightener is hotter than you.

You look so pretty. Next time, refer to me as [insert your name].”

Use this when people have actively gossiped about your sexuality.

For you, it’s a psychiatrist.

You’re the reason the gene pool should really have lifeguards.

I did not pick up the phone because I’m ignoring you.

Your eyebrows look like eagle’s wings.

Maybe you should try to eat make-up to improve your ugly personality.

No one noticed when you left; that’s how insignificant you are.

Call me back when you’re ready to be an adult.
Your bad personality is the reason I prefer animals to humans.
Roasting you isn’t easy.