Ugly gay guy

For example, if you have a body or physical and facial features that you think make you ugly, learn to accept them by using skills like radical acceptance, learning to hear and understand different perspectives, or talking to a therapist about where this belief stemmed from. It’s pretty obvious that regardless of how most people treat you for how you look, your opinion of yourself — including attractiveness and sex appeal — has value.

Your body type? Even if someone (like on social media) leaves a mean or cruel insult, assess the validity of the speaker. "A guy I was dating once said that I needed to go and find jeans in the maternity section because I have wide hips."

Attractive people are more likely to be hired, promoted, invited to social events, and pursued romantically. Is this someone you respect? The images on the covers of gay magazines, or used in advertising targeting gay men for fashion, alcohol, even pharmaceuticals. Last summer, following the comments, he tried to kill himself.

And that is where true self-worth begins.

Being conventionally attractive is one way to get social and romantic attention—but it is far from the only way. They are seen as more socially sympathetic, even if they (allegedly) are criminals (such as the case of Luigi Mangione).

But what can you do with this knowledge?

• Accept it as an unfair reality, but not a personal failure. It’s frustrating, but it’s part of human psychology that exists in all cultures, and throughout history (such as the legend of Helen of Troy being so beautiful that thousands of (straight) men went to war over her, “the face that launched a thousand ships.”)
• Work on areas where you can still enhance your presence. Grooming, styling, posture, and presence (in accordance with what  you can reasonably afford financially, or in healthy ways (avoiding extreme surgeries, eating disorders, or endless “glow up” efforts) can all enhance how people perceive you, even if they don’t make you conventionally attractive.
• Surround yourself with people who value deeper qualities. The superficial world will always exist, especially when the community of gay men is known for this, worldwide, but so will circles of people who care more about substance, which one could easily argue is the majority of people.
• Recognize unconscious biases in yourself. Even if you’re on the receiving end of beauty bias, have you ever caught yourself treating conventionally attractive people differently?