Tips on gay anal sex

Extra lubrication is crucial for bottoming since the anus lacks natural lubrication. If that’s you, great! If you’re newer to anal sex, it probably doesn’t make sense to schedule it for right before you have to rush out the door to a parent-teacher conference. If you feel an intense stretching sensation and this feels okay to you, you can stop or keep going.

It can take some getting used to.

One way to help your anal muscles relax during sex is to gently "push" out as if you're, you know, pooping. Starting with fingers (your own or a partner’s), or buying a set of plugs that allows you to gradually work up from something small to something larger is a great way to feel out if the sensation of being penetrated by an erect penis is one you might enjoy, and what steps you need to take to get there.

 

We’re also going to put a plug in for both partners having some idea of what it’s like to be penetrated.

These can contribute to anal pain. If you can’t say “yes” to these questions with confidence, maybe there’s some work to do on your communication before trying anal.

 

And let’s be honest, sometimes anal gets messy, whether that’s a literal mess, or just sitting with the vulnerability of negotiating desire and new experiences, you want to do this with someone who can do this with you.

You can try everything, but anatomy – either yours or your partner’s – can make it impossible. But for many others, things are more fluid.

Maybe you’re a top who bottoms once a year, maybe you’re vers and split it 50/50 (or 70/30, or 60/40), or maybe you don’t care about labels. Tongues? Just smart, personalized medical care.

Consent, Safety, and Mutual Enjoyment Come First

Let’s be clear: bottoming should never hurt, and sex should always be consensual, safe, and pleasurable for all involved.

These are sets of toys that get gradually bigger.

To learn more about anal toys, check out our guide.

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Lube

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Lube is an essential part of anal play. In these cases, preparation and training – like with the dilation kit or cone from his sexual wellness brand Future Method – can help.

There can also be other causes.

Lube is your best friend

Ample lubrication is essential for a comfortable and pleasurable intimate experience, particularly for beginners. Fibre, anal training and techniques like douching can all play a part. The toy you use will depend on how experienced you are and what your body is used to. The kind of lubricant you choose is a matter of personal preference as well as what other products are going to be incorporated into your sex.

These positions allow you to maintain easy verbal and non-verbal communication with your partner so you can check in throughout, and the familiarity and visibility can help you relax into it.

 

No cross-pollination

 

We love theclip of Laura Preponexplaining to her daughter on that 90s show that “once a nay-nay’s been in a nah-nah it can’t go in a hoo-hoo” and that’s the basic gist of it.

When someone has an undetectable viral load they cannot pass HIV to someone else through sexual intercourse.

 

We encourage you to have on-going conversations with your sex partners about your testing practices, and what kinds of barrier methods you plan to use for what kinds of sex acts.